


Hurricane

by sexyblueeyeddevils



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Gen, M/M, Not A Happy Ending, You've been warned, possible triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-13
Updated: 2014-09-13
Packaged: 2018-02-17 06:22:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2299598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sexyblueeyeddevils/pseuds/sexyblueeyeddevils
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He closed the distance between him and Jean, who had armed himself as he got closer.  “You will do this one way or another Jean.  I don’t want to hurt you.”</p><p>“You don’t want to hurt me?!  You are killing me!!!”  Jean yelled as their weapons clashed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hurricane

**Author's Note:**

> This is not a happy story. It came to me while listening to 30 seconds to Mars- 'Hurricane'. Please listen to the song first. I would like to say I hope you enjoy it, although I think you may be more upset at me than anything. thank you for reading! ~sbed

Do you really want  
Do you really want me  
Do you really want me dead  
Or alive to torture for my sins? 

Do you really want   
Do you really want me  
Do you really want me dead  
Or alive to live alone?

30 Seconds to Mars- Hurricane 

“He’s not coming.”

“He’ll come.”

“How do you know?”

Levi looked down at the man who was no more than a boy, but every bit the monster, kneeling in chains below the perch where he and Hange stood. The figure was broken, bleeding, his breath shallow. His regenerative healing long since stopped repairing the damage the Military Police had inflicted on him. He no longer had the will to scream out in pain, let alone fight.

“Because Bertholdt is the only thing he has left.”

The dark hooded figure made his way through back allies virtually undetected. It took longer this way but he couldn’t risk being followed or they would both be dead. He backtracked a few times just to insure their safety. 

Arriving at his destination, the lithe entity stole through the doorway of the abandoned building, scaling the stairs stealthily. The only indication he was there at all was the pop of the latch on the rusty door. 

“You shouldn’t be here.”

“Yeah, well, I am.”

The stranger pushed back the cowl of his black cloak revealing messy two-toned hair. Light tawny eyes zeroed in on the large blond hunched over a chair, his arms resting on his knees. 

“Go home, Jean. You’ll only get yourself killed if they find you here.” He grumbled lowly.

“Shut up and listen to me. We don’t have a lot of time. If you want to save him now maybe the only chance you get.” Jean snarled his patience thin.

Reiner stood turning to face him. “Why would you do this? After all that we have done.” 

Jean stared at him hard. “Because you and Bertholdt would have done the same for me and Marco.”

“How can you be so sure?”

He wasn’t, but Marco had always had faith in them. Even if he hadn’t know about them back then. “Reiner, they are going to kill him whether you come or not.”

“Where are they holding him?” The blond looked haggard. It was apparent he hadn’t slept in a few days.

“In one of the abandoned districts near the northern most forest. The Military Police have been working him over pretty hard. That is, before Commander Hange and Lance Corporal Levi intervened. They managed to convince them to hand him over for Hange’s ‘research’. Though, he still gets roughed up pretty regularly.” His expression softened as he saw pain flitter over Reiner’s face and his hands ball into fists.

Jean sat on the edge of the small bed leaning his elbows on his knees. “You know this is a trap, right?”

“Yeah, I know. But I’m not going to let them continue hurting him. I can’t.” Reiner’s gruff voice broke at the end. His large paw of a hand scrubbed at his face.

How long ago did they take him? A month, maybe two? They had been hunted, their luck running out. Almost managing to evade their captors, Bertholdt had seen something that made him break away and fall back. He yelled for Reiner to keep going that splitting up would be for the best. That he would meet him back at their designated spot. Reiner had questioned him; Bertholdt shook his head shouting, “No time, just do it!”

So Reiner kept moving, convinced that they would rendezvous at their meeting place. He realized too late that Bertholdt allowed himself get captured in order to save him. ‘Idiot.’ His mind hissed.

Jean reached in his shirt pocket and stood. Handing a folded piece of parchment to Reiner he then searched through the satchel he had hidden under the cloak. Pulling out a bundle of cloth he handed those over as well. “This is where they are holding him. If you can get him and make your way to the clearing indicated on the map, there will be a horse and supplies waiting for you. They expect you to show up in your Survey Corps gear. Wear this instead.” Turning to leave, he felt a heavy hand grip his arm.

“Why?”

Jean looked back into sad golden eyes. “I once loved someone too, and I wasn’t there to save him.” He looked away not wanting to relive that memory. “I wasn’t there to protect him and he died alone.”

Reiner pulled Jean into a reluctant hug, which he slowly returned. “Just be careful, alright? They’ll be waiting for you.”

Breaking away, his voice cracked. “Is he—” Reiner couldn’t finish.

Jean sighed. “I don’t know how he knew I would come looking for you, but he wanted me to tell you not to come for him. That it was alright and that he accepted what happened. That it was nothing compared to what he deserved. Wanted to thank you for never leaving him and for being strong even when he couldn’t.” Jean drew the cloak around him and over his head. “He said he loved you and not to do anything stupid or rash.”

Reiner snorted. ‘Of course he did.’ “When?” 

“Soon, days maybe. Be Safe, Braun.” And with that Jean slipped back into the darkness.

“You too…”

He hurt. 

It wasn’t bad really. At least he didn’t think it was. The pain was a constant now. His arms ached; wrists raw from the shackles that bit into his skin. The Military Police made sure long ago to exhaust him to the point where he could no longer heal himself.

He was thankful, to an extent, when Hange and Levi came for him. The torture had stopped, but not before he had lost an eye. The iris barely reformed, a milky white film covered the lens. The beatings still came at regular intervals. At least Hange just battered him with questions. He answered as best he could while his voice held out.

Blood trickled out of re-open wounds; from his broken nose, the cut over his brow, the corner of his lip that was always split. He was pretty sure four of his ribs were broken. He could no longer hold his head up, it was simply too heavy. 

He heard the light footsteps of someone who once called him ‘friend’ and the sloshing of water. Bertholdt tensed, the water ‘play’ was the worst. Taking a deep breath, he recognized the scent mixed with another. Jean sat the pail of water on the ground in front of him and crouched down.

“Relax. You know I’m not going to hurt you.” He dipped a cup into the water and set it aside. Taking a cloth from his pocket he wet it then rung it out before pressing it to Bertholdt’s dirty bloody forehead.

“Jean—“ He swallowed dryly. “You shouldn’t—you are only alienating yourself.”

Jean scowled as he continued to clean Bertholdt’s face. “I’m getting real tired of people telling me what I should and shouldn’t do.” There was silence.

“You saw him?” It was barely a whisper. Jean looked up sharply into the clear olive eye staring back at him. “I can smell him on you.” Bertholdt smiled weakly. “Thank you…”

Jean didn’t answer for a minute as he continued to clean. “There is nothing to thank me for…How can you smell him?”

“It’s a shifter thing. We all have a unique scent. Just have to know what to look for.” Bertholdt was panting by the time he finished. It had been a while since he had spoken. It took a great deal of energy that he just didn’t have. Jean held the cup to his lips and he drank gratefully. “I can tell you that Eren is over in that cluster of trees probably with Armin and Mikasa.” He hung his head again exhausted.

“Hey! What the hell do you think you’re doing?” An MPs hollered at Jean as he hurried over to them. “Get away from that traitor!”

The thin figure stood tall between Bertholdt and the advancing patrolman. Jean placed one hand on his sword, taking a defensive stance. “Oi, fuck off, pal! I’m following orders from Commander Hange! If you have a problem with giving the prisoner water then I suggest you take it up with her!”

The man halted his advance. No one challenged anything the Commander ordered, or they would face the wrath of Lance Corporal Levi. Jean knelt back down in front of Bertholdt and continued to clean his wounds. 

“You lied.”

“Yeah, so?”

“I’m not worth the trouble, Jean.”

Jean stared at his once close friend. He wanted to be angry, wanted to beat the shit out of him and Reiner for betraying them. They had been battered enough. He just couldn’t bring himself to do it. “Shut up, Bertl.” Deep down, Jean knew this would not end well for anyone.

“What is Kirstein doing?” Levi and Hange wandered past them at a great distance.

“He appears to be cleaning the prisoner’s face. I thought you of all people would appreciate that, Levi.” Hange snarked.

The shorter man leveled her with a deadpanned glare. “Yes, but why?”

“They use to be friends, I think.”

Levi hummed in agreement. “You would think that his betrayal would sever that bond. We should keep an eye on him.”

“Probably, but I think the main focus will be the Armored Titan. If what you say is correct, Reiner will stop at nothing to get him back. We have to be prepared.”

The camp was markedly quiet and overly easy to sneak into. Reiner stayed in the trees, creeping soundlessly as he went. It was critical now to keep a safe distance until he spotted Bertholdt. He could sense he was near. He also picked up Eren’s fragrance. If he was here, then leaving with Bertholdt was going to be even more of a challenge. This would take precision on his part. The gusting wind carried Bertholdt with it. He closed his eyes momentarily basking in his scent; it was strong. Reiner silenced the sob on his lips. He was so close, and hurt. He could almost taste the iron on his tongue. He had to fight down the urge to rush in and sweep him away. That would only end gravely for both of them. 

He had spotted a few members of the Survey Corps and crept past them undetected. When he finally caught sight of Bertholdt he could tell he was heavily guarded. His head hung low, defeated, beaten. 

The wind changed direction and he could only hope Eren’s titan abilities were not strong enough to pick up his scent.

“There.” The senior members of the Survey Corps watched the figure down below intently. “Can you see it?”

“He’s here.”

“Yes. Although I am dying to know how he could tell.” Hange’s scientific mind buzzed with curiosity.

“Focus, Commander. You are getting that crazy look in your eyes again.” Levi and Hange took up their positions hidden in the shadows. “This is probably going to happen quickly.”

The cool breeze felt wonderful against his heated skin. It ruffled his filthy matted hair and dried the blood on his face. Jean hadn’t been back for a couple of days. The Military Police intervened putting a stop to his care.

Jean’s furious protest fell on deaf ears. It took Eren and Connie holding him back and hauling him away, with Armin trying to reason, “They’ll throw you in prison if you don’t calm down!” Jean had stopped fighting, grimacing he desperately searched to find Bertholdt through the soldiers that begun beating the chained shifter again.

Bertholdt brought his head up and sought out those burning amber eyes that watered with pent up rage. Oddly enough he felt peace. It was nice to know someone cared even if he did not deserve it. He saw Jean mouth his name, before his world blacked out. He hadn’t seen Jean since.

The wind picked up strength rustling the leaves in the trees, swaying the branches. Bertholdt slowly raised his gaze. ‘Damn fool.’ He thought even though his heart was racing and pounding loudly in his ears. He breathed deep and almost sobbed. With his eyes closed he parted his lips to taste Reiner’s unique scent on his tongue. A tear involuntarily slipped down his grimy cheek.

A commotion in one of the buildings behind him snapped him out of his reverie. His head fell down to his chest once more. Heavy determined footsteps slowly approached him. All he wanted was to see Reiner one more time before it all ended. 

Kneeling down in front of him was a man in casual attire, the sleeve where his right arm should be was carefully pinned short. He set a heavy yet comforting hand on his bony shoulder. “Bertholdt, look at me, son.” His eyes began to fill, disappointment and remorse flooded throughout him. He found it difficult to raise his eyes to meet those of the leader he betrayed. “Hoover, look at me.” Icy blue eyes stared back at him. They weren’t filled with hate as they should be, but with concern and something akin to regret.

Bertholdt began rambling as he finally made eye contact. He didn’t know why it was so important to say these things to this man, but he had to say them, he couldn’t stop the words from coming. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Commander. I didn’t—I was just following orders. I didn’t want anyone to die! It was my mission, I-I I was just trying to complete my mission. I’m sorry! Please believe me! I d-didn’t want—I’m sorry!!” His voice cracked and began to falter at the end as he began gasping. He was a failure, a murderer, evil incarnate, a disappointment to everyone. A traitor.

Hard blue eyes, softened minutely. He knew they were just children when he and Reiner first brought down Wall Maria. Damn the society who put that burden on twelve-year-old boys. There was no way to make everyone feel the way he and a few members of the Corps felt on this matter. The populace as a whole wanted justice regardless if the perpetrators were minors at the time. As it was, they were barely men. So much had been lost, and so Bertholdt and Reiner would be made examples of. Erwin thought it pointless. Killing these two boys would not fix things, would not change the fact that titans still lingered outside the walls, that someone else had orchestrated the attack from the beginning and was still out there plotting their annihilation. 

“I know Bertholdt. I have tried to plea on your behalf, but I am afraid I have failed you. They want you to pay for what you have done, with your life. I could not sway the court’s decision on the matter.” Erwin’s low baritone voice was full of regret. “You will be executed.”

The boy in front of him nodded. He knew this was his fate. He wasn’t trying to beg for his life, for leniency. Nodding his acceptance, “It’s for the best, Commander. I don’t want to be a burden on anyone any longer.”

Erwin’s mouth pressed into a firm line. “I just want it to end.” He didn’t have the words to comfort Bertholdt. What the hell was he supposed to say: ‘Hey no worries, it will be quick?’

“Commander, please don’t let them hurt Reiner. I-if he gets caught—“ There was a choked sob as Bertholdt continued to whisper, “—don’t let them torture him. Please, please don’t put him through this. He’s—he’s a—he never wanted this either. He’s always been better to others than he was to himself.” His broken voice rising in a panic to make Erwin understand. “He cried at night—he didn’t want to finish the mission! He was so conflicted. We didn’t have a choice! Please, don’t let them hurt him! Please!”

Erwin’s strong hand gripped his shoulder a little tighter. “I can’t make that promise, Bertholdt, but I will try my best.”

Bertholdt nodded slowly, panting heavily. The energy he exerted took too much of a toll on him. “I’m sorry about your arm.” His one green eye held all the sadness in the world.

“So am I, but it could have been a lot worse.”

“Commander!” Two armed guards make their way quickly to where they are knelling. “Step away from the prisoner.” Erwin made no effort to move, instead kept his eyes locked on Bertholdt. “Commander Smith, step away from the prisoner now.”

Bertholdt nodded as in to say it was ok. Erwin slowly stood and backed away. His hard eyes shifted to the two soldiers. “You are doing this now?” They moved to either side of the chained ‘Colossal Titan’. “I believe you have orders to wait.”

“Orders have changed.” One of them pulled out a military grade knife. 

“Dammit, what is he doing?” Levi hissed.

“He’s going to get himself killed. Levi, you need to get him away from Bertholdt.”

“Fucking idiot.” Levi dropped down from his perch and quickly crossed the yard towards his former Commander. “Erwin, what are you doing, you ass? You can’t pick a fight with one arm.” He stood between the Commander and the soldiers. They backed away slightly. Levi leveled them with his benevolent glare of indifference.

A strong gust of wind blew through the camp. Levi’s eyes switched to Bertholdt when he caught movement out of the corner of his eye. He had let his head fall back as he inhaled deeply. An almost unnoticed smile briefly flashed across his cracked and bleeding lips.

Turning towards Erwin, Levi leaned in close. Come with me.” The stare which he shared with his close friend left no room for argument. Reluctantly Erwin nodded his affirmation before letting Levi lead him to, what the Lance Corporal hoped, was safety. Grey eyes roamed back to Bertholdt once he deemed they were far enough away. His green and blind eyes opened slowly fixing on a position directly on the tree in front of him. Shifting his gaze again he could sense the eyes upon him. Reiner was hidden well. 

Time seemed to come to a halt and flash at the blink of an eye. 

Haunted golden eyes watched everything unfold around him, taking in everyone’s position. Oddly enough he saw nothing of his old comrades. Were they removed from the camp, possibly out on another mission? He could faintly smell Eren, but the wind was against him now. Jean did say this was a trap. 

He didn’t want to cause causalities. His goal was Bertholdt and only Bertholdt; and he would take him back at any cost. 

He watched as Erwin tried reasoning with the Military Police. Watched as Levi pulled him away. Watched as the fierce man made the connection between Bertholdt’s actions and his own presence. He felt the Lance Corporal’s eyes on him, but knew he couldn’t be seen. He hunkered down closer to the oversized limb he balanced on. Eyes back on Bertholdt. Waiting…

He waited too long…

Wordlessly, the MPs took up position on either side of the fallen titan. One held a gun on him; the other fisted his hand in dirty knotted locks wrenching his head back exposing the long column of Bertholdt’s throat. The soldier leaned down whispering words of hate to the doomed boy before swiftly dragging the jagged blade across his throat. All was silent and sound intensified. There was a sickening gurgling that reached every ear in the vicinity, imprinting the grotesque squelching sound deep in the mind of all, as shocked eyes widened. Bertholdt’s mouth open and closed like a fish out of water as blood spilled from the corners of his lips. The front of his tattered shirt turning crimson with fresh blood. 

There was a painful broken human shriek before lightening flashed and turned into a deafening roar. The roaring intensified as the ground began to shake. The Armored Titan burst through the trees stopping in front of his dying lover. The mournful wail that reverberated through the air drowned everything. Levi pulled Erwin down as the one armed man covered one ear with his remaining hand; pressing the Commander’s head to his shoulder while covering his own ears. Hange fell from the tree when her ear drum burst and began bleeding, losing her equilibrium. Soldiers scurried out of the buildings. Mikasa, Armin and Eren stumbled into the clearing. They had orders not to engage the Armored Titan. Not in this state. It would be suicide. 

“He’s going to call the other titans!” Eren yelled futilely. No one could hear him over Reiner’s desolate cries.

With all the tenderness of a mother gathering up her newborn child, the titan broke the chains around thin wrists and cradled him in his hands. Holding him close to his face to see the extent of the damage, there was a broken stutter, quieter than before. It sounded like he may have been trying to say Bertholdt’s name. Said boy lifted a shaky hand and placed it against his armor plated jaw before falling back to his side. The titan curled his hands protectively towards his chest, then turned abruptly and raced through the forest. 

Once the squad had collected themselves, they set off in hot pursuit of the traitor titans. Reiner had a good lead on them. The titan’s death song called forth others keeping them occupied long enough for him to make his escape. Bursting through the clearing the Armored Titan began to slow down. Running at full pace for so long was beginning to take its toll. He felt Bertholdt shift weakly in his hands. ‘Almost there, hold on Bertl.’ The grove was in sight. He prayed to anyone listening that he had lost his pursuers. 

Shedding his titan form, Reiner held Bertholdt’s limp lanky form tightly as he ran to the rendezvous point. He hadn’t realized he was sobbing until he stopped short upon seeing Jean along with the supplies and an extra horse.

“Shit.” Jean whispered, quickly grabbing several rolls of gauze and compresses. Reiner laid Bertholdt on the ground. ‘So much blood.’ He was too pale. Thin ribbons of steam trickled out from the gash on his neck as a last ditch effort trying in vain to heal.

“Bertl. Open your eyes babe.” Reiner tried to quell the shaking that mocked his strong voice. Jean pressed the compresses to his neck going through most of them in a matter of minutes. He cursed to himself as he and Reiner worked together to stanch the bleeding. “Bertl, come on. We made it. Wake up, don’t you give up now.” Bertholdt’s eyes silted open as they managed to slow the flow of blood. He tried to speak; the only sound coming from his throat was a wet clicking. “Shh, it’s ok. Don’t try to speak.”

Thin fingers brushed against Jean’s knee jerking his startled gaze to Bertholdt’s pale face. He scowled as Bertholdt tried to express his thanks. His green eye shifted from Reiner and back to him. Jean glowered and pressed his lips tight. Bertholdt’s expression changed to that of a plea. Closing his eyes, Jean nodded sharply. A small sigh left the dying boy, focusing on Reiner once more.

The burly blonds face was set hard as he gently cleaned the blood from Bertholdt’s mouth. “It’s going to be alright. You’re going to be fine. We’ll rest for a while and then head home. We’ll go back to our home town and live the life we were supposed to.” Reiner muttered softly, eyes flooding and spilling over.

Jean finished wrapping the bandage around Bertholdt’s neck. Standing, he quickly walked away. He scrubbed hard at the blood on his hands. Throwing the rag down he wanders farther away. This was too much for him to handle, brought back too many painful memories. He began wondering for the millionth time how it was when Marco died. At least Bertholdt wasn’t alone. Marco would have wanted him to help Reiner get him home. Damn him and his selflessness.

He returned bringing water to Reiner, encouraging him to drink it. Bertholdt had his eyes closed taking shallow wheezing breaths. Reiner sat back and wiped his hands on his pants. Jean handed him a wet cloth.

“Thanks.” The blond finished rinsing the blood from his hand and ran one of them through his hair; the other held Bertholdt’s thin fingers. “I wasn’t expecting you to be here. I’m glad you are.”

“Yeah, well I don’t know how much I helped.” Jean covered Bertholdt with his cloak. If anything, he just prolonged the inevitable. “How far are you away from your home town?” Reiner answered about eight hours of travel. There was no way in hell they would make that. Especially giving Bertholdt’s condition, unless, his regenerative healing kicked it.

“We should probably move soon. Maybe another hour or so.” Reiner said distractedly, his gaze never left his lovers face. “You don’t have to come. Thank you for all that you’ve done for us.”

“Fuck you, Reiner. You’re not going to dismiss me so quickly.” Jean scowled down at him. “I’ll stay until you reach your destination.”

“You don’t—“

“I know I don’t dammit! Just let me do this, alright?” He hissed, silencing the other male. Running his hand through his hair he turned away from the shifters. “I’ll stand watch; you should probably try to rest for a while.”

Reiner observed Bertholdt as he slept. Bringing his knee up, he rested his head against it. The faint rise and fall of Bertholdt’s chest made his throat tighten. He was alive but just. Reaching up he brushed his fingers across bruised and battered cheeks. The scarring around his blind eye reminded him of when they shifted out of their titian form. What had they done to him? How much pain did he have to withstand because of him? Bertholdt’s beautiful brown skin was now pasty and cold. And dry. His skin was dry. Reiner began to panic. 

“Bertl?” Tired eyes opened, they were glazed over and bleary. “Bertl. Babe, look at me.” He hovered closely over Bertholdt’s face until his vision cleared bringing him into focus. A tiny smile passed over the prone boys lips. His trembling finger tips brushed over Reiner’s mouth. Golden eyes softened and swelled with unshed tears. Leaning down Reiner pressed his mouth to full chapped lips, a single tear slipping from his eye. When he pulled away he attempted to smile as Bertholdt frowned at the wet track marring his cheek. He opened his mouth to speak.

Jean observed them from a distance. This was too damn excruciating and brought back so many unwanted emotions that came flooding to the surface. He envied Reiner above all else that he was allowed to spend the last moments of his partners life with him. He hadn’t known what happened to Marco, for what, two days, before he found him on that lonely street. He shut his eyes hard fighting back that bitter memory that would haunt him for the rest of his life. 

Bertholdt began coughing violently bringing him back to the present. Reiner called for him, his voice full of distress. Jean rushed over with the rest of the first aid kit. Blood stained Bertholdt’s lips and his bandage was soaked through from the attack. Jean was attempting to change out his dressing, Bertholdt shook his head. His breath coming in wheezing gasps. His eye flitted between the two of them. 

Jean gritted his teeth together. “Reiner, get the horses. If you’re going to do this you need to do it now!” He applied pressure to the reopened wound. “Just hang in there Bertl.” They exchanged a painfully knowing glance and Jean gripped his hand. “Dammit! Why is this happening again?” He whispered angrily. Bertholdt turned his hand and loosely held his hand squeezing it once. “No, no. It’s not ok.” Bertholdt began losing consciousness. Jean hollered for Reiner to hurry up. Sliding the cloak under him and pulling it around his shoulders and over his head, he spoke lowly, “Listen, I’m going to stay with you both until the end. I won’t let them take him. He’s not going to suffer, alright? You hear me Bertholdt?” The tall boy sighed and relaxed into Jean’s arms. 

Jean hoisted him up as Reiner approached already mounted on the horse. Bundling him carefully, he passed him to Reiner. The blond situated him so that Bertholdt was cradled snuggly against his chest. Pulling his hood over his head, he kicked his heels into the beast’s side and they took off. Jean donned his green Survey Corps cloak and swung up onto his horse taking off after them. He hoped the uniform would deter anyone who tried to interfere. It would be unlikely for the two refuges to be seen with someone from the Corps. 

They rode hard for hours in silence. Bertholdt’s head lolled heavy against Reiner’s neck. The cloak around him whipping in the wind peeled away enough to reveal the limp arm that dangled loosely as the horse galloped. Jean gasped as he realized, a moment before Reiner, that Bertholdt was gone. He looked up at Reiner’s face seeing it contort into a pained grimace. Tears fell freely as he roared his grief in an unrelenting song of agony. Jean’s heart made that sound once. Silent tears traced the contours of his face at the loss of yet another person who he held dear. 

They reached the forest outside their homeland by sunset. Reiner held Bertholdt’s limp body tightly seeming every bit the broken man. His face blank, his golden eyes pale and hollow rimmed in red. Occasionally he would kiss the top of Bertholdt’s heavy head and close his eyes for a brief moment. 

Jean remained stoic. Trying not to think of how fucked up their short lives had become in the last five years. How was any of this any way to live?

He followed silently as Reiner took them through the woods, a sole destination in mind. They finally emerged from the thick forest into a small clearing that overlooked a beautiful lake. The moons reflection flickered and danced over the still waters. It would have been beautiful had it not become the final resting place of his comrade.

Jean dismounted the steed when it appeared they wouldn’t be going any further. Coming alongside his companion’s horse he waited patiently for Reiner to surface from his own mind. Placing a gentle hand on his arm let him know he wasn’t alone. Bertholdt’s face was still covered by the cowl around his head; he almost preferred it that way. Reaching out, he carefully adjusted the cloak that had fallen open.

Reiner watched him as he diligently set to righting the cloth around Bertholdt’s lanky frame. He grasped Jean’s wrist halting him. His head snapped up to meet his gaze. “We never deserved friends like you. Any of you.” He rasped. Jean stood stock still for a moment eyes locked on Reiner’s before slipping his arm under Bertholdt’s legs waiting for Reiner to shift his dead weight so he could lower him down. His lips pursed in a thin line. The blond transferred the limp body from himself to Jean’s waiting arm like an overly protective mother handing her baby to another. 

The hood moved in the transition exposing Bertholdt’s cold skin. Jean shuddered as the cheek of his lifeless friend rested against his neck. He wanted to scream at the tragic senselessness of it all. Reiner dismounted the horse and turned to take Bertholdt back in his arms. Jean was all too happy to relinquish the burden back on the shifter. Tending to the horses and tying their reigns to a low branch he had the sudden urge to hit something. The tree he tethered the steeds to took the brunt of his anger. The bark of the tree split the skin on his knuckles as he splintered the wood repeatedly. He felt a heavy hand on his shoulder as he continued to pummel the tree trunk. There was a strong grip around his wrist and he screamed loudly. Not at the throbbing pain in his hand but the bleeding ache of his heart.

Reiner pulled him back against his chest and held him firmly. Jean cried and cursed at the wind for the injustice that had befallen humanity as a whole, for the two he had lost and for the third he was unknowingly about to lose. “I’m sorry, Jean.” That meek apology stopped his wailing abruptly. 

Jean turned his head to look at the burly blond. “Why—why are you apologizing?”

“We never meant to cause so much pain. Not to you, not to anyone. Not like this. I’m sorry, so sorry. We didn’t know the repercussion; it wasn’t what we were taught. We weren’t supposed to think, to feel. We have destroyed everything.” He ended on a sob. “I didn’t want you to have to go through this again. I don’t want to have to ask anymore of you. You’ve done more, so much more than either of us deserve.” 

Reiner released him and stepped back a few paces. Jean looked at him in confusion. “Let me borrow one of your blades and help me collect some fire wood?” Jean stared at him. That wasn’t what Reiner meant to ask, there was more, but for now he would go with it.

“Yeah, sure. No problem.” He handed Reiner a blade, wrapped his bleeding knuckles and began helping him collect fire wood. The unasked question nagged at the back of his head. Once they had collected enough dead branches and logs to last them an entire week, did he question his friend. “Reiner, why do we need all this wood?”

Reiner had begun arranging the wood and stacking it in a precarious manner. He looked over at Bertholdt’s corpse. “We are building a pyre.”

Amber eyes stared stupidly at him. Of course. It was what they had done for Marco and the rest of the fallen. So he wordlessly helped Reiner stack the wood. However, it seemed a lot larger than he thought would be needed to burn one body. Maybe shifters needed more heat to dispose of the remains. Once it was done they stood side by side for a moment. An eerily silence fell over them. Reiner contemplated the blade in his hand before handing it back to Jean. Placing it back in the holster he eyed the pyre. “Reiner—“

The blond moved towards his best friend, his lover, his life, his ending. Crouching down next to Bertholdt’s lifeless body he pulled the hood back completely revealing his pale complexion. His dark lashes fanned across his dirt streaked cheeks. His mouth relaxed from the slight downturn he always wore. He looked peaceful even with the blood smears across his chin. Brushing his blunt calloused fingertips lightly over his face, he spoke barely above a murmur, “It almost seems like he’s just sleeping. But then you never were a peaceful sleeper, were you Bertholdt?”

Jean watched as he lovingly caressed the boy’s cheeks. “Reiner, why is the pyre so large?”

Reiner leaned down and placed one last chaste kiss to cold lips before scooping Bertholdt up and walking towards the altar. “Jean, I have to ask one last thing of you.” He lay Bertholdt down in his final resting place folding his hand across his abdomen and straightening his clothes. He was a warrior, he would be given a warriors send off. “When the fire fully engulfs us you must leave immediately. You will be exposed and vulnerable. You have to get out of here as quickly as you can.” 

“What do you mean ‘us’? Reiner, what the fuck are you saying?!” Jean was near frantic. “Are you—are you going to kill yourself?!”

Reiner ducked his head and stepped away. “No, Jean. This is the last thing I need to ask of you. I need you to kill me.”

Jean was mortified and angry. “No! Fuck you, Braun! How could you even ask me that? I can’t believe you wou—“He took one of his blades out and threw it on the ground. “Do it yourself you fucking coward!”

“Don’t you think I would if I could? “ Reiner huffed out a mirthless laugh. Picking up the sword he turned to Jean, the other male taking two steps back. “No, Jean. It has to be you. Any attempt I make will only heal. You have to take off my head.” He advanced slowly, cautiously at first. He needed Jean to consent.

“Are you fucking insane?! I-I can’t do that! I won’t.” Jean back peddled further trying to maintain the distance between them as Reiner advanced.

“You won’t? Then you have condemned them all.” Golden honey eyes blazed with pent up rage. “Do you understand what will happen if you leave here without killing me?! I will destroy them all!! Everyone!! I will hunt every last one down and obliterate them! Do you want that on your conscious, Jean?! You have to kill me!! If not for me then for the rest of humanity, I will raze this land until every last mortal being pays for taking him from me!!” He closed the distance between him and Jean, who had armed himself as he got closer. “You will do this one way or another Jean. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You don’t want to hurt me?! You are killing me!!!” Jean yelled as their weapons clashed.

“Then make this easier for both of us!” Reiner brought the blade down barely missing Jean’s arm. He really wasn’t trying to hurt him, he needed him to carry this out, but Jean wasn’t thinking clearly and so he played off of his emotions.

They swung at each other all the while Jean was on defense trying to keep him at arm’s length. “Jean don’t make me do this!” Reiner yelled. “You are forcing my hand! PLEASE I AM BEGGING YOU!!!”

The thinner boy dropped his arm and Reiner stopped his progress. They both panted hard, panic and anxiety causing their hearts to race. Hearing that anguish in Reiner’s voice was enough. If he had their abilities he would have destroyed everything in his path as well after finding Marco dead. He would do this for the others, for Reiner. “Fine. I’ll do it.” Jean glared his resignation. “I hate you so much for making me choose this.”

Reiner quirked a small smile, “Well at least it’s nice to know you’re not happy about killing me.” 

The expression Jean returned to him was of hurt and sorrow. Broad shoulders fell in defeat, his face pained. “I don’t have the strength you do, Jean. He was/is my everything. Always has been, ever since we were kids. I can’t live without him.”

“You could, you just choose not to.” Jean said quietly speaking with such conviction he might have just yelled it at the top of his lungs. 

“How do you do it?” 

“I cry, I get angry and rage at everything and everyone that tries to make his death seem worthless and meaningless. I hurt. I hurt a lot. But I remember why it is I’m still here and I try to live my life the way Marco would have wanted me to. I try to be the person he saw in me. I hold onto the love we had, the love I still feel.” Jean spoke somberly. He was so tired of death. It would be so easy taking the ‘easy’ way out. But that would dishonor Marco’s memory. 

He understood Reiner’s decision all too well. He watched as the shifter lit a makeshift torch. Bertholdt was all that he had left and now that he was gone he had nothing. Selfish. Jean would miss him, miss them both. He promised Bertholdt he would make sure they wouldn’t take Reiner or allow him to be hurt. ‘Damn him.’ Neither of them gave Jean much of a choice in the matter.

Wedging the torch in between two large rocks Reiner stood next to the pyre and held Bertholdt’s hand. Looking out over the peaceful waters he felt a calmness wash over him, something he only felt when it was just the two of them together. When they would stay up all night mapping out the features of the other’s face with their fingertips; not speaking, huddled close, legs intertwined before slowly drifting off to sleep. “Well, we made it back home Bertl. Not exactly how we planned it, but I think this worked out better.” 

Jean gave them a moment. He was in no hurry to end his close friend’s life. Dully he watched the one sided exchange as Reiner’s loving words expressed some of their more precious times together. 

The pressure in the air began to shift. It felt thick with emotion. A calm breeze swept through the camp rustling the leaves and branches in the trees. Jean closed his eyes and was suddenly overcome with inner peace. Lifting his chin up in the air he felt the gentle caress of the wind on his face, tousling his unkempt hair as if fingers were running through it. The gust picked up swirled around them. Opening his eyes, he saw Reiner in the same position he was in. Jean stood from the bolder he was sitting on as watery golden pools gazed serenely at him over his broad shoulder.

It was time.

Reiner pressed one last kiss to Bertholdt’s mouth. “See you soon.” He moved to the other side of the pyre. Jean walked over calmly as Reiner ascended up the wooden structure and sat back on his knees. He took Bertholdt’s lifeless hand in his and placed it on his lap.

Jean climbed the pyre standing tall behind Reiner. “For what it’s worth, you and Marco were better to us than anyone else had ever been. I’m sorry he had to die. I’m sorry for all the pain we put you through. You are a good person, Jean. Don’t let Jaeger give you too much shit.”

He heard Jean unsheathe his blades, cross them over and set them across his shoulders, he raised his head a little higher. “Yeah, well, just make sure your heavy ass falls forward, Braun. I’m not picking you up if you fall off.” 

Reiner chuckled. “I’ll do my best, Kirstein.” His eyes remained on Bertholdt’s face. His last thought was, “I’m home”, before Jean’s blades swiftly severed his head from his shoulders. 

Silently and quickly Jean went about lighting the pyre. He watched as the bodies were set aflame. He kissed the handle of his blade as he had done many times before and sheathed it. The wind swirled around him as he pulled his hood over his head. The whipping wind curled the flames around the pyre high into the sky. Amber eyes watched transfixed as they were consumed by fire before remembering Reiner’s words. Quickly mounting his horse and grasping the reigns of the other they made a hasty departure.

It was daylight before his horse sluggishly meandered back into the camp where they once held the boy who became the ‘Colossal Titan’. All eyes were on him as he put the horses in the stable. No one approached him as he made his way towards the building that held the head of the Survey Corps. He walked in without the customary knock. 

Inside he found Hange behind a desk, Levi nursing a cup of tea on one end of the beaten couch, Erwin reading at the other. They looked up when he approached. His face streaked with dirt and soot, clothing splattered with dried blood. Carefully, he removed his green Survey Corps cloak, folding it neatly followed by the tan uniform jacket. Setting it atop the cloak he began to unstrap the 3D Maneuvering Gear setting it in front of the dilapidated desk, he saluted them one last time before turning and walking towards the door.

“Kirstein.” He halted. “What happened out there, son?” Erwin spoke. His voice held concern, yet commanded an answer.

Jean paused lifting his head, not bothering to turn around. “Bertholdt Hoover, the ‘Colossal Titan’ and Reiner Braun, the ‘Armored Titan’ are deceased. They no longer pose a threat to humanity.” Turning in a form of defiance, daring anyone to challenge him, Jean declared, “I watched them burn. The major threat against humanity being terminated, I resign.” He turned back towards the door, then stopped. Pulling out several folded up pieces of paper he retrieved from the pack on Reiner’s horse; he strode back over to Commander Hange and handed four sheets over to her. “This should explain how they came about in case you are unable to make it to Eren’s basement.” Erwin stands and Jean approaches him. “These should give you the rest of the information in regards to their hometown.” Levi came to stand next to Erwin as they looked over the parchment.

“How do we know Braun wasn’t trying to deceive us?” Levi questioned.

“You don’t.” Jean responded. “I found them after he was dead. Take it or leave it.” Jean left without another word leaving the three top Survey Corps members to mill over the new found information that a once ally turned traitor now provided them, with reinvigorated hope of taking down the remaining titans and regaining humanities place amongst the world.


End file.
